MYSTIC reason: fear of love

Monday, December 10, 2012

fear of love

We must be our own before we can be another's.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

m hébert

Over and over,
I gaze upon the picture
Of you with the child
You love.
     The child I do not know,
     But love,
     Because you do.

I see you clearly,
I feel your soul,
Captured, preserved,
In this one, brief moment
Of absolue, unconditional
Truth.

And it fills me
With wish, and hope,
And desire
And need,
And fear.

I do not fear your love for him,
I do not fear my love for you.

I fear only
My love for me.

No comments:

motive

I put up the first post on this site on the full moon in November of 2012. That wasn't deliberate, but it was auspicious. The monthly appearance of the full moon has always been important to me. I can't say why, as I don't know; at least, I can't explain why.

But, it is important. And I always spend some time under the full moon each month trying to grasp what it is I'm feeling as I gaze upon it.

So, like my connection to the moon, I believe that, although we can and do structure our lives, much of what happens come from an unstructured place; a natural and intuitive place. And that is the essence - the founding principle if you will - of the blog: to pursue an understanding of life by understanding true feelings; knowing something is true and right, without having any empirical evidence, having only a "true or false" reaction to it.

Why do we immediately like or dislike, love or hate a person on first meeting? Why are we comfortable or uncomfortable in a particular environment? Who are we beyond our awareness? What forgotten experiences, especially in childhood, are at work within us, and how are they being expressed in our lives? What influence do they have on how we perceive our world, how we feel, and how we act on those feelings?

It can be viewed as instinct or faith or spirit or intuition, or having to do with quantum mechanics...even as god, if you wish. I think of it as mystic reason, and I believe it is an integral aspect of a natural symmetry; part of the balance we seek in our lives.

I hope to explore this notion here, through my own writing, my photographs, and by sharing the thoughts and expressions of others; by responding to the feeling I have about any of them, and by putting them in a place for further contemplation (by me and those who may find their way here). And, although each post or group of posts will have a unique purpose or perspective, they will not remain static; they will evolve; they will be edited; they will all be works in progress, as I respond to the impact what I have written, what others may offer, has on me. As an insightful writer and dear friend of mine has noted, "everything flows, nothing remains".

I hope that the posts here and comments they may engender will eventually grow into a larger and coherent composition - a record of a personal journey - and, most importantly, will become this in an organic, unforced fashion; an expression of the influence of mystic reason.

quotes from posts

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you. (Haifiz of Persia)
The creative is the place where no one else has ever been. You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself. (Alan Alda)
The first problem for all of us, men and women, is not to learn, but to unlearn. (Gloria Steinem)
I caught the happiness virus last night when I was out singing beneath the stars. Haifiz of Persia
No man is angry that feels not himself hurt. (Francis Bacon)
The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it. (Marcus Aurelius)
It is never too late to be who you might have been. (George Eliot)
Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again. (Vincent van Gogh)
Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable. (David Augsburger)
The world each person creates for himself is a distinctive world, not the same world others occupy. (Dean Barnland)
We become what we think about all day long. (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. (James Earl Jones)

music that inspires me

graceland - paul simon
dark side of the moon - pink floyd
all things must pass - george harrison
the beatles - anything they've done!
applachian spring - aaron copland
closing time - tom waits
symphony #31 - mozart
details - frou frou
marc cohn - marc cohn
letters from home - pat metheny group
the reminder - feist
brothers in arms - dire straits
little wild one - joan osborne
sailing to philadelphia - mark knopfler
relish - joan osborne
magic time - van morrison
hejira - joni mitchell
steely dan - anything they've done!
joe jackson - night and day 1 & 2
famous blue raincoat - jennifer warnes/leonard cohen
turbulent indigo - joni mitchell

some wisdom from einstein

information is not knowledge
When I examine myself and my methods of thought I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.
Whatever there is of God in the universe, it must work itself out and express itself through us.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.
Feeling and longing are the motive forces behind all human endeavor and human creations.
The only real valuable thing is intuition
Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.