retreat

When you start suppressing feelings at an early age, it hurts you down the road. Full expression of anger and pain is very important.

Andrew Shue
 

I remember now the moment...

A winter world beyond the glass,
So sterile, so white, so cold,
Within and without.

Sitting on the floor,
Building a world of my own
With plastic toy bricks,
While the family spins plates,
As they always do.

And her cigarette burns,
Untended, on the tray,
A long spire of smoke
Rising in the empty air.

I had the heart, but not the voice
To say,
See what I've made,
Come and see?

Good boy, they think, he thinks,

No bother,
That boy,
No bother,
I knew...

...at this moment of retreat.